Post-grad: A Year Later

Welcome to post-grad life, one year later! I had planned to write about my graduation day ever since it happened, but I decided that I want to do it a year later, so I can reminisce about that day. I'm going to divide the story into several parts and end it with some of my thoughts about life, exactly one year later.

The Prep

About two or three months prior to my graduation event, I had created an expense plan for all the things I would need such as makeup, clothes, accommodation, etc. I actually researched and planned carefully on how I want to look during the event, and what things I would need to achieve that with a tight budget (yes, I was only a part-timer and my salary was only enough to buy myself meals not even for a whole month).

I thought long and hard about should I just do my own makeup or should I get it done professionally. After some consultation with my mom, she suggested that I asked Adyuta (my cousin) to do my makeup. She had never done makeup for graduation before so we would need some trial and error. We had discussions on how I wanted the look to be and after everything was settled, she's in charge for my makeup while I tried to provide the complete, basic tools as best I could.

For clothes, I decided that I wanted to wear a custom kebaya (Indonesian traditional dress). My mom designed it for me, pairing it with a beautiful samping (batik textile). We tried to decide on a colour, I want something bright and not worn or used by other graduates. My mom wanted me to look my age, not older and not younger. Since we're on a budget, we recycled her old kebaya into a new one, combining it with another fabric that we bought. Luckily, the seamstress lady was able to fulfil our request. After the kebaya was finished she advised us to add some embellishment to the outfit, for an added bling. Mom & I created flowers from the fabric remnants, which we ended up not sewing to the kebaya because we already liked the structure and simplicity of it, and we're afraid that if we add the flowers it might ruin the simplicity.

Outfit checked, next item was finding the right hijab type and colour for the outfit (and figuring out how to wear it). I kid you not, finding the hijab is the hardest part of the outfit because the samping colour is maroon, navy blue, and light brown. The kebaya colour is, hmmm, white? Maybe ivory-goldish white? It's a bit hard to describe the colour. The initial hijab colour option was these shiny maroon, navy blue, and ivory. But red made me look old, blue put the whole outfit off and ivory looked very plain. So I bought a glittery pashmina which has a gradation colour from orange bronze to gold to faint light pink, and it does tie the whole outfit together.

The last thing to prepare is accommodation. Graduation day in my uni always, always resulted in messy traffic. The trip from home to my uni takes about an hour, not on rush hour. During rush hour, it can take up to 3 HOURS. Nope, not taking the risk. So we rented a room for one night, me, mom and my cousin. Looking back, it was the right call, otherwise, my graduation would be long finished when I'd arrived.

Well, accommodation wasn't really the last thing I prepared. I also arrange a studio photo session for us because my parents and I hadn't took another family picture since I was a 5-year-old. I also practised using softlens, putting it on and taking it of and how to take care of it. Repaired my shoes, shopping for makeup, skincare, etc. Fun fact: my expense plan exceeds my income of the month 🤣, like, I'm so so very grateful that my parents still pitched in to cover some expenses and the help my friends and my cousins gave me. Love love them.

Graduation Day

I'm rather calm. I'm not one for being jumpy. But on November 24, 2018, I was ecstatic, practically bubbling with excitement. I shall finally reap the result of 3 months' worth of planning & stressing out. I managed to arrive successfully on time. I was so worried I might be late for the ceremony because it was almost impossible to walk with the samping, not to mention the shoes I was wearing wasn't designed with ease of movement in mind. On my way to the building, a photo-man (you know those persons who took your photographs then processed & print them in the same day and if you want yours you have to pay for it?) took a picture of me. I'm pretty sure the pic was great because it was still in the morning, yet stupid me, I just walked past him in a rush, forgetting to ask his number so I could get the picture later, thinking I could always find the photo-man later. Yeah, in an ocean of thousands.

The funny thing is, something similar happened to me in my high school graduation. A photo-man suddenly stopped me to take my picture that morning, and yet when the pics came out, everyone got their pic except me. Even the photo-man was confused at that time 😂. So I don't really have a picture of me alone that day, which was such a shame since I look fabulous (courtesy of my dear cousin Adyuta, who'd been sick the night before, but still gave her all to do my makeup, I love you).

Anyway, the ceremony was... well, a bit... boring? Imagine this. I sat at the front row, the first column in that row, with nobody I knew near me. The guy sitting beside me kept attempting conversation with me but I wasn't interested (sorry not sorry, dude). I had so many things to carry because mom insists that I should bring some snacks along, but then they also gave us some graduation goodies. My hat kept slipping off my head, I was sleepy and tired and my eyes were dry due to the soft lens I wore. So please don't blame me if I had some resting biatch face live on the huge display screen, broadcasted live, combined with some sulking pout. My friend messaged me saying "Control your face girl, you're on the screen. Look alive, keep smiling so you'll look pretty on the screen." and I refused, and told her that people would think I'm crazy if I kept smiling without any reason.

After the ceremony ended our class met up in front of our faculty building to take pictures and meet friends who came for us. I was genuinely so happy because it was a day to celebrate all the hard work, the ups and downs, sleepless nights, delayed dreams for 4 years and a new phase of life: the real world. It was a hot, sunny day with some clouds and winds later in the afternoon.

[ Graduated! ]

[ Mom ]

[ The BF ]

[ My home class ]

[ The ones that made uni life a bit more colorful ]

[ High school besties, minus Wawah ] 

[ Onyx ]

[ OGV ]

[ A good selfie with Sarah ]

[ A cute photo with Muthy ]

[ Thank you! ]

Graduating was a symbol of achievement for me and gratitude for my parents, for everything they've sacrificed and done to prepare me for real life. For all their continuous love and support, especially my mom. Without her, I'd be a lost cause.

The Revelation

I remembered distinctly that in high school, in my mind at that time, I had this mental note that I would not be studying Informatics Engineering since I didn't know what it is, why it exists, and it seemed like a pretty boring major. Which then I found true in my junior and senior years, and had some difficulties with my studies (even though I'm not a dumb*ss biatch). Now looking back, this degree isn't something I would've picked for myself. I still want to be a brat and say that it was my father's choice, but I couldn't. My father merely gave me an answer to my question (What major should I apply for?) at that time, and I didn't think things through before I followed his answer. The decision to pursue this major was (as much as I hate to admit it and still want to deny it) mine. All along.

I wish I knew then what I know now, but some things you'll never know until you've experienced it firsthand. I wish I had a better understanding of what each major was about, what it entailed, possible career option specific to each major and how cruel the real world could be, so I would be wiser in making my decision. Oh, well, what's done is done. Despite that, I'm also grateful for the good, kind friends I found in my home class in Informatics Engineering. We had the most amazing home advisor whom we could (almost) always talk to. Freshman & sophomore years was a lot of fun because we had to take each compulsory course together. I also met my current boyfriend there 😉. Another thing, if I never study informatics engineering, I would be so awkward with technology, maybe almost tech-illiterate, since I'm super old-fashioned at heart.

University did prepare me for real life, though. It really is the miniature of the real world. Hmm, how should I put it? What prepared me definitely wasn't what they taught in class, in fact, it was almost no help at all, for me. But between the day-to-day activities, assignments, projects, exams, impossible schedules and trying to figure out what I want to be, I learned to recognize people, noticing what they want, communicate, organize things, make use of available resources, manage my own finance, and other things I don't know how to describe, yet. This realization only came after I began adulting when things, good and bad started happening and I thought, "Ah, I've been through this before," or "I see, this is why I've been through such thing," or "Now I know what my mother meant."

As we grow older and our life goes on, nothing gets easier. You'd think that after experiencing something once, twice, 100 times, you'll get used to it. Unpleasant things, such as loneliness, failure, heartbreak, death; and the pleasant ones, like falling in love, success, feeling beautiful, birthdays. I think it's easier to get used to the pleasant things than the unpleasant ones, the latter was and never will be easy. And yet, most of the time, it is the latter that keeps us grounded, humble, down to earth.

[ One year later ]

Well, that's some revelation and thoughts I gained after living in the real world as an adult for a year. I still have no idea what I want to do in life, I haven't figure things out. Not yet. I should end it with a quote.

"We have nothing if not belief."
- Reepicheep, Narnia