Baby Steps to Adulthood

A while ago, I read a post with pictures talking about a woman's life post-graduate. I forgot who created it, but I saw it on my timeline. With a fairytale-like storyline, it explains what we as girls/women will face after we graduated from college.

In that story, we are the princess holding a balloon of dreams, trapped in a castle of responsibilities (if I'm not mistaken) with our insecurities as a dragon who guards the castle preventing us from escaping. Eventually, we let go of the balloons. We got so desperate that we hoped a prince charming comes along to rescue us. But we forgot one thing, we are crowned with education. We forgot that we are strong and smart enough to be our own saviour. We forgot that we are not a damsel in distress. Long story short, all we have to do post-grad, are overcome our responsibilities, conquer our insecurities and chase our dreams. Super true and it's an awesome mantra to get me through some rough days.

BUT, I admit, it's not as easy as it's written above, because I just got introduced to these things. There are times when I felt overwhelmed by the heap of responsibilities I need to handle. Other times I'm just so insecure about how my life will be in the future. What if I fail? What if I can't do this? What if I can't save myself? What if I can't help the people I love? What if, what if, and what if. 

When the castle suffocates me and the dragon threatens me, I get so anxious that I panicked. I know I should've done some actions but sometimes I couldn't help the "what ifs" because I love making scenarios in my head about the future, which, I really shouldn't be doing too much. 

[ After my final paper presentation ]

Well, I think it's good to have visions about the future and all, but I guess I have to remember that the present we're living now was the future. The future can't happen without the present. And if I want to create a future I always wanted and chase my dreams, I should do something in the present that will contribute to it. 

I've finished my final paper & presentation (which I'm glad I finally did), waiting for my graduation and currently working part-time as a teaching assistant in KUMON. Sometime in the past, I also watched a video in which a guy was talking to a bunch of college students, "... Seniors, no more dreaming! You gotta act and make those dreams come true". Less or more it was something like that. I agree. To me, (unofficially) finishing my degree felt like I got the key to all my adventures at hand, and in the end, I will eventually find my treasure chest. Will I stop after finding my treasure? Nah. I'll stop when I die.

How do I feel entering adulthood? Hmm, well yes, the dragon scares me and the castle intimidates me but I'm sure I'll get used to it. I'll find a way to deal with them. Overall I'm quite excited, or you can say rosy (hopeful, one of the reasons why I changed my blog name to rosy-renes, hehe). In the meantime, I just need to have a little more faith in God's plan aaaand in myself.