2019, A Note

It's amazing how 2019 has ended. Seems like both 2018 & 2019 were filled with an unexpected twist of events. Some months flew by quickly and some months drag on very, very slowly, to the point where it felt like decades. During many moments, time felt like it was turning backwards, and I could feel my kindergarten self, present like I hadn't changed at all. Like I had to rediscover myself all over again from scratch.

"Your past makes you who you are, yet it does not define you."

I did two life-related workshops this year, they're both by Mwara.Co. It's radical for me since I'm not one to partake in life-coach seminars nor reading motivational books. But times were dire and I thought, "Why not? I could use some help." The first workshop was titled "Design Your Life Journey", and the aim was to find out what our true calling in life, so whenever we feel like we're lost, we'll always have that lighthouse that can guide us home. The second one was titled "Life Compass". I didn't have clear expectations in the second workshop, I just thought that I could use some reflection before a job interview. The aim of the second workshop was to reflect back on our past, and the memories hidden in it, so we can discover what shaped us into the person that we are today (hence the quote above).

It was a revelation, I remember most of the bitter things that had happened, and how easy it is for me to forget the good things. I hate to admit this, but most of the time I let that bitterness defines me. Which made me quite icy and sometimes, unhappy. I refused to be unhappy. I also want to cherish the sweet memories better.

Another major change in 2019 is that I have a pet! Never in my life have I imagined that I would be blessed with two cats, both of which I rescued at my English course place. One male and one female, 4 months apart. Belus was rescued in May while Tillu was rescued in October. They're both so cute and I will dedicate a post just for them.

In 2019 I also made my first cream soup from scratch, become a student at KUMON (again), reached 3 years in my relationship, discovered Ariana Grande's "thank you, next" album in December which turned out to be so, so good (NASA's my favorite) and learned to walk away from things that make me unhappy. I also decided to quit looking at others' posts & stories in IG, just because it has become a toxic place for my mind. I'll login when I want to upload a pic, but other than that, I'll be logged out. I'll come back when I have a healthy mindset to deal with it. Now I understand why T.S. quit IG for a year (?), I don't know, but you get the point.

Cheers to another year ahead. May we be able to let go of the past and the things that make us unhappy. Have a great 2020!

[ 01/01/2020 || A good night ]